Archive for the 'prayer' Category

12
Nov
10

i will trust you

Hopes turned to fear. Joy turned to tears. Life turned to death. And I sit here again. Not knowing what to do. Not knowing what to say. Not knowing what to feel.

Lost in time. Lost for words. Thinking ahead makes no sense. Thinking about yesterday hurts. So today is all I’ve got. I feel like hiding. I feel like hibernating. I feel like disappearing. But here I am.

Your plans are good. Your plans are perfect. Your love is perfect. You are perfect. You love me. Just the way I am. You don’t judge me in my darkness. You call me into the light. I want to come, but I can’t. Not yet. Not now. You wait. You invite me. It’s okay to say no.

You will always be there. You will always guide me. Even when I don’t believe that you will. You are not mad at me. You embrace me in my disappointment. You cry with me. I cry so much. Tears are tiring.But tears are all I have.

I can’t express what I feel. What’s there to say. Nothing I say will change what happened. It hurts. But I will trust you. I choose you God. The ball is back in your court. I trust that you will bring life, joy, and hope back in me again. I don’t have it in me. But you do. And you will give it to me. The way you see it’s best.

I know trust is shattered. It’s okay. You don’t judge me for my apprehensiveness. You will rebuild the trust. That’s your job. Not mine. You are the one who works out my salvation. Not me.

 

Thanks for being here. Somewhere. I will trust you!

Torben

 

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03
Feb
10

never underestimate my jesus

I love this simple Relient K song called For The Moments I Feel Faint. I’m in a place where all I can do is holding desperately on to Jesus. And thank God he never lets go of me or gives up on me! Never underestimate my Jesus!

Blessings, Torben

31
Dec
08

Three new year’s songs

As I have been reflecting on the year of 2008 which took us from Ukraine to the United States, God has used three songs from Casting Crowns’ album The Altar And The Door to speak to me. I have been singing the song Prayer For A Friend many, many times this year. It’s been hard to see different loved ones making choices that take them away from the best God has for them. But this song has been meaningful to me in those times of feeling sad. It speaks in simple words about the heartache of seeing friends go down paths that don’t lead to life, and it speaks of the truth that all I can do when that happens is to lift my friends up to God, as I hope they do when they see me making poor choices in my life. 

Another song that has been powerful to me these last weeks is the song Somewhere In The Middle. It speaks about real life for most of us. The struggle between the safety of mediocrity and the risky business of total abandonment to God. The lyrics are simple, but the questions posed in the song are real and thought provoking – “just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control?“, and the answer to that question is that you have to lose all control in order to live a life of surrender. It’s scary, but great stuff to follow God 100%, and often we are caught in the middle

And finally a powerful and simple worship song titled I Know You’re There. No matter how many times I’m caught in the middle, and no matter how many tears I cry over my own mediocrity and lukewarmness, God is there. He is listening. He is real. He was the only hope for me and everybody else in 2008, and he will remain the same life giving God in 2009. He is the one I have chosen to put all my trust, faith and hope in, and I know he’ll never let me down.

Thus ends this year of blog entries. 101 blog entries in 2008 since I launched http://www.abrokencup.wordpress.com back in Janury. I hope you, dear reader, have been blessed by these blog entries. I have enjoyed writing them. It’s an important part of me processing my life, and on top of that it’s just plain old fun! 🙂

Happy new year! See you in 2009!

Blessings, Torben – who loves youtube! 🙂

14
May
08

Prayer

Let me share this prayer that I have borrowed from Brennan Manning’s devotional Reflections for Ragamuffins with you. It expresses my heart’s desire very well. I have many opportunities these weeks in Denmark to encourage and bless friends and family members that I don’t see very often, and it’s my prayer that they’ll meet God who speaks through me, and not just meet me or be attracted to what I do and say. It’s not important (for them) what I experience, it’s important that they see that they themselves can experience (more) life and real freedom in Jesus Christ. I just want to be a broken cup that God can shine his light and life through. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Jesus, my brother and Lord, I pray as I write these words for the grace to be truly poor before you, to recognize and accept my weakness and humanness, to forgo the indecent luxury of self-hatred, to celebrate your mercy and trust in your power when I’m at my weakest, to rely on your love no matter what I do, to seek no escapes from my innate poverty, to accept loneliness when it comes instead of substitutes, to live peacefully without clarity or assurance, to stop grandstanding and trying to get attention, to do the truth quietly without display, to let the dishonesties in my life fade away, to belong no more to myself, not to desert my post when I give the appearance of staying at it, to cling to my humanity, to accept the limitations and full responsibility of being a human being – really human and really poor in Christ our Lord. Amen

Torben – who is filled with gratitude and awe as we have just received a large gift from people we barely know. God is good all the time!




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