Being needy

Easter was a wonderful time of celebration of the life, hope and victory that Jesus’ death and resurrection bring. I enjoyed worshipping in church and I was overwhelmed by the feeling that is so familiar to me: “I am not worthy of you, Jesus, but I can’t live without you” and Jesus’ answer was: “You are worthy of me! I have made you worthy!”. Many tears of joy were cried during this Easter time. How incredible that Jesus loves me just the way I am. Not the way I should be or the way I wish I were. He loves me with all the good in me, but also the bad and the ugly that so often entangle me. When I find myself in the pit of self-pity, self-hatred, loneliness and fear Christ meets me there. He doesn’t condemn me or yell at me. He shows me himself. He shows me that I am loved. He shows me that he is pleased with me. He runs to me and throws his arms around me and celebrates that I am with him. He reminded me that despite the setbacks I feel when I fall again and again, he is changing me. I am in a different and much better place than I was two years ago. He reminded me that what David describes so well in Psalm 40 is also my testimony. He has given me a new song to sing. I am singing a song of love, hope and joy that I simply didn’t know just a few years back.

“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord” (Psalm 40:1-3)

And he reminded me of the way David ends this Psalm in verse 17: 

“Yet I am poor and needy, may the Lord think of me. You are my help and my deliverer; O my God, do not delay”

It’s okay to be poor and needy. It’s good to be poor in spirit as Jesus calls it in Matthew 5:3. To be poor in spirit is to not trust in myself or in other people. To be poor in spirit is to accept the fact that we can only put our trust in God. He is the Rock that David and myself and so many others have found to be solid. That Rock never moves no matter how rough the circumstances or our inner turmoil may seem. He is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8).

This gospel of poverty in spirit is countercultural to the extreme! In society today it’s all about being strong, being capable, being able, being powerful, being beautiful, being sexy, being everything in myself! I pray that the gospel of the strength of weakness may change this world more and more. We need to embrace our limitations as human beings. I praise God that he has showed me my limitations. For three decades I was living primarily in my own strength. I was the rock I built my life on. It was all about what I could do and could be. I praise God that he took me on the journey of brokenness where I have seen and continue to see that I can’t create the life I hope to experience. Every single person on Planet Earth is looking for love, acceptance, worth, significance and security. Most people try to find it in themselves, in other people or in dead religion. I thank God that he has revealed that it’s only in his son, Jesus Christ, that love, acceptance, worth, significance and security is to be found. He is the way, the truth and the life (John 14:6). He is the only way to everything we hope for and dream about, he is the only truth that sets people free, and he is the only life that’s worth living. And he is offering himself to you and me today.

All he is asking us to admit is our neediness. He is not asking you to clean up your act or to pull yourselves up by the bootstraps. He is not asking for you to punish yourself for your wrong thoughts and actions. He is just asking you to come to him just the way you are. Do I dare to stand in Gods presence just the way I am? Or only just the way I should be (full of excuses)? Or only just the way I will be (making promises to God that I’m not capable of keeping anyway)?

Blessings, Torben 

Mercy Me’s powerful song Bring The Rain:

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