FAQ about why I don’t eat cheese

I was looking through some of my old blog posts on my old blog www.torbenriisjensen.blogspot.com and I came across my old masterpiece about cheese. And since – for some reason – I’ve gotten a lot of the good, old questions about why I don’t eat cheese these past weeks, I thought I would reprint this FAQ for a new generation of blog readers! It was written two years ago, but nothing has changed! Enjoy 🙂

Q: Why don’t you just make a FAQ where you answer all the questions regarding why you hate cheese and never eat it?
A: Here it is!

Q: How can you not like cheese?
A: It’s really not that difficult. It’s not wrong to not like cheese. Cheese is just one food product type. It’s really not any stranger than not liking green beans or mustard. It is in fact a fairly low percentage of the world where cheese is something that “everybody” eats. Look at China, India and the rest of East Asia. No cheese. Look at all of Africa and much of South America: very little cheese. And that may be something like 70-80% of the world’s population that is not obsessed with cheese! And I’m okay being a minority in my part of the world.

Q: Did something happen when you were little that made you hate cheese?
A: Hmm…..boring answer: no. More interesting answer: there was in fact one incident where my brother, Carsten (you can confirm the story with him (!)), took a piece of bread with butter and cheese and a bread knife and tried to force me to eat the cheese…! He was so tired of my sister and I constantly talking about hating cheese, and I guess that drove him to desperate means of communication. Today Carsten is a more peaceful cheese-lover who has to live with the pain that his sons, Christian and Jakob, don’t eat cheese either. Like uncle, like nephews!!
Q: Have you always hated cheese?
A: Yes, Always. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t hate cheese. It’s been going on for a bit more than 32 years now. My parents used to say that it would change when I grew up. They gave up quite a few years ago.

Q: What is it you hate about cheese?
A: Everything. The texture. The smell. The look of it. The fact that it is a product that has come to be through a process of putrefaction/decay/rotting which my dictionary suggest as proper translations of the beautiful Danish word forrådnelse. I feel physically bad when I see people eat cheese, especially when they seem to enjoy it. It makes me sick to my stomach. And Jeannette and I have a clear-cut rule that says that she has to eat a piece of chewing gum after she has tasted the forbidden fruit. For some reason she loves cheese:-(

Q: What about cheese on pizza or lasagna?
A: I’m completely orthodox, and I don’t eat cheese on pizza or lasagna either. And trust me: a pizza or lasagna without cheese is wonderful. In fact I dare you, dear reader, to try it and see for yourself. All of a sudden all the other yummy ingredients will taste of so much more when they’re not overwhelmed by the stinking and foul-tasting cheese. Trust me!

Q: Do you eat any kind of cheese?
A: Nope. None. Not even cream cheese or the like.
Q: Have you ever tried cheese?
A: There have been clever people who have tried to trick me into eating cheese. I recall a Norwegian mother who thought she was pretty brilliant when she put cheese in some rolls that I apparently liked. But other than these crimes towards humanity I haven’t eaten cheese with my knowledge.

Q: But how can you not like cheese when you’re from Denmark where they make such good cheese?
A: I’m happy that so many people spend their money on Danish cheese and support my home country that way, but I’m more than happy not to eat cheese products. I enjoy a whole range of other Danish products, especially red hot dogs, so I don’t feel like a national traitor either.

Q: What do you do if you’re in somebody’s house and they serve food with cheese?
A: I do my best to avoid eating it. Obviously I can end up in some social contexts where it’s only appropriate to try to eat whatever is served, but in most homes it’s okay to say that you don’t eat cheese. These days we have people who don’t eat or are allergic to numerous things, so it’s normally not a big deal.

Q: Is your whole family cheese-haters?
A: My parents and my brother love cheese, but my sister is on my team. She doesn’t eat cheese either, and we enjoy being part of our little exclusive club 🙂

Q: If you had to choose between killing your wife Jeannette and eating cheese what would you choose?
A: What an insane question!! Obviously I would never hurt my wonderful wife, but still….eating cheese…….I’m not sure I could do it. I’m not sure I could swallow it…….Please….if you read this and are into torture and have plans of catching me….please consider another means of torture….:-(

Q: Will you ever start eating cheese?
A: No. I will not.


18 Responses to “FAQ about why I don’t eat cheese”

  1. 1 Kevin
    September 12, 2009 at 9:10 pm

    Finally a fellow cheese hater!
    I was starting to think I was alone…

  2. September 13, 2009 at 6:37 pm

    You’re not alone, Kevin! Don’t worry…we’re out here! 🙂

  3. October 8, 2010 at 8:22 pm

    I’m Chinese live and grew up in Colorado and California in the U.S., My ethnicity is Hong Kong/Cantonese Chinese to be exact. Although cheese is not common in our dishes, some do use cheese (I believe it was popularized under the English colonization. A popular variety of “Baked Rice” dishes are topped off with cheese and baked in the oven until the cheese melts and forms a crust. They do the same with some lobster dishes, and some of them (such as my mother) have a thing for cheesecake!

    I am not on of those Asians, I hate cheese with a passion! I actually came across this post because I was searching for “I don’t like cheese because” after I had to leave my work’s break room really quickly, someone microwaved a cheese dish that smelled like death. This person microwaves something with cheese in it every single day, I don’t think there’s been one day in the past two years she’s been here that she didn’t eat cheese for lunch. Today was especially putrid.

    I don’t understand if we “cheese haters” have different sense of smell because that stuff seriously smells bad, why would you put that in your mouth?!? The taste doesn’t help either. In the end, it is rotten milk curds, and for those of you who like blue cheese, also known as cheese with blue mold, you are just nasty!

  4. 4 Peter
    December 2, 2010 at 11:44 pm

    I can’t stand to eat cheese either. I have been that way all my life. When I was a chid I was required to eat everything on my plate. I suffer to this day when I had to eat chedder cheese on hotdogs. I suffer socially because most every casserole people make seem to think cheese is so important in it. I don’t like to be this way but I avoid going to parties where food is served for me. I go to restaurants and order a simple salad and its topped with cheese, I have to send it back. Its embarrassing to me. People think I’m weird and unamerican. What can I do to make it in social situations for my dislike for cheese. It seems like cheese is the overwhelming majority. Fastfood place thinks all folks eats cheeseburgers. I have to be very specific when I order food. So often my order is ignored and I end up with cheese on it anyway.

  5. December 3, 2010 at 4:26 pm

    @Peter: what can I say? I suffer with you, brother! 🙂

  6. 6 James
    January 16, 2011 at 12:50 am

    Thank God! I thought I was alone. Ordering at a restraunt is such a pain. Everyone treats me like a freak. “Unamerican” they call me. Here’s the real kicker though; I LOVE ranch dressing, yogurt, butter, mayonnaise, flamin hot cheetos, goldfish, those potato skin things at TGI Fridays, the cheddar rolls at Red Lobster, pizza rolls, cheesecake, and sour cream. But I absolutley despise the taste, smell, and look of regular cheese (Especially ****ing parmesan.) which makes me barf in my mouth just smelling it! I have to eat hamburgers and say no cheese on everything! I also have to say “take it easy on the cheese” when I order a pizza, but they almost always mess up/don’t care and put extra cheese by mistake!!!

    • 7 ...
      March 31, 2011 at 9:32 pm

      The same thing happens to me at the fast food places! I’ve found that the best way to be sure that the cook at one of them doesn’t spit in your food is to pretend that you are allergic.

  7. January 18, 2011 at 12:34 am

    @James: I’m glad you found comfort in my blog entry. I understand from your comment that you’re not an orthodox cheese hater-brother, but at least you’re against some kinds of cheese.

    And let me add a general comment about cheese on pizzas: I recently spent four days in the capital city of the country of pizzas: Rome in Italy. I came to Rome with an understanding that it would be next to impossible to get a pizza (or any other Italian food for that matter) without nasty cheese. Lo and behold, the truth is that pizza without cheese is absolutely normal in Rome! In fact, all the pizzerias I visited had cheese-free-pizzas on their menus. And the last day where we wanted a couple of slices of pizza from a big place near the Pantheon in downtown Rome, I discovered to my great joy that two out of the seven pizza options were without any kind of cheese! In your face cheese-lovers!!!!! 🙂 And I might add that the pizza slice I had with peppers and Italian sausage was absolutely delicious!

  8. 9 Kel
    March 3, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    While I myself love cheese (and wish I didn’t – I’d be much thinner and probably healthier), I cannot stand it when “well-meaning” people try to force foods on a grown person. I was a picky eater as a child and can still feel the embarassment of a room full of people staring at me while they waited for me to try something new. Shame on anyone who tries to bully you with cheese! And friends who invite you over without thinking of this are not being very good hosts. You like what you like. You shouldn’t have to explain yourself to this degree! That said, I’m glad you did. :p

  9. 10 Adam
    August 28, 2011 at 2:02 am

    wow i found a bunch of peeple who dont eat cheese, now im starting to feel normal lol.

    im curious tho, i can eat cheese on pizza as long as the pizza is really hot and not over powering in flavor apart from that i cant stand cheese, do others have the same thing?

  10. August 28, 2011 at 3:20 am

    @Adam: Welcome to our little online community, hope you’ll feel right at home 🙂 There is room for you even though as a completely orthodox cheese hater, I struggle to understand how you can eat cheese on pizza!

  11. 12 Sleumas75
    November 2, 2011 at 12:15 pm

    I myself don’t like cheese, but I do eat macaroni and cheese, but I hate cheese on everything . In American culture there is cheese on everything so I totally understand about feeling like an outcast.

  12. 13 Kimi
    April 24, 2012 at 3:40 am

    I hate cheese too! 😀 yay. I am not allergic or anything, I just don’t like it. I go to the point of reading the ingredients on anything I purchase. I just don’t want to consume it.

  13. 14 Malcolm Jones
    July 12, 2012 at 11:54 pm

    When I was a young man over 60 years ago. Our Navy band was flown from Tsingtao China to Nanking to give a concert. Some while after arriving I was informed by shipmates that I had consumed a cheese omelet for breakfast in the army mess hall after a night of partying. I RETCHED FOR TWO DAYS! !!! The thought of it still brings on malodorous pangs in my stomach. Since then family..friends..and enemies have tried unsuccessfully to trick me into eating some of the disgusting stuff. My fine-tuned CHEESE ALARM cuts in and saves me.
    My thanks to fellow cheese heaters for their very descriptive comments.

  14. 15 Bobbi
    August 3, 2012 at 8:39 am

    but. . . cheesecake 😦

  15. 16 Carlos
    September 21, 2012 at 8:18 pm

    Why don’t they make cheese optional? I’m from Peru originally and, although cheese is popular there, I rarely had a problem because there were always foods without cheese. I live in Canada now and they put cheese in everything. Why??? … even in some soup! They use cheese like salt here!. The only funny thing is when some greedy restaurants want to charge you extra for adding cheese to a burger. It always makes me laugh loudly 🙂

  16. 17 Michael
    May 14, 2013 at 3:08 am

    I’m glad to hear I’m not alone. I hate cheese too. I’m not allergic. I’m not lactose intolerant. I just hate the taste of cheese, any and all kinds. I like milk, ice cream, yogurt. I’m not vegetarian either. But cheese makes me gag. At restaurants, I’ll order something that comes with cheese without cheese. If (when) it comes to me with cheese, I’ll have it sent back, telling them I’m allergic to avoid having them simply scrape of the (melted) cheese.

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